hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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