I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
