You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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