Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
