Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
