Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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