That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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