No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
