and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
