There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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