I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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