get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
