Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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