he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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