i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
