Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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