If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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