People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
