i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
