check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
