mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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