Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
