I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
