dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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