big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
