farters have to be the big spoon...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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