Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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