and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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