I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
