it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
