is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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