Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
