Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
