you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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