I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
