she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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