whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
