Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize