I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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