I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
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Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize