I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
