saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
