I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
