His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize