He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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