Your face is a jimmy john
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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