You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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