I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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