I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
