he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
