She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm too high and old for this...
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