Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
