So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
