tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
