This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
