Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
