I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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