U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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