He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
