O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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