these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
