Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
pop tarts are not kleenex
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
