This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
