Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
