It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
